rabiscos - parte III

Eu procuro nas esquinas, pelas ruas, nos cantos mais escuros, desesperada e incansavelmente, e não consigo achar o que mais quero e preciso. Não consigo...

*

E eu que um dia cheguei a pensar que amar era fácil e amor era fácil de achar...

*

Porque ele dizia que sabia o que era necessário para me fazer feliz mas só me arrancou lágrimas ao invés de sorrisos.

*

O tempo passa, os ponteiros do relógio continuam a girar e mesmo assim parece que estou sempre no mesmo lugar. Quando é que a ferida vai cicatrizar?

*

Toma conta da minha vida e não sai pela porta sem dizer quando volta. Eu vou estar aqui, esperando de braços abertos.

*

Preciso de alguém que se importe. Que se importe com o que sinto, que fique preocupado quando estou com cara de poucos amigos e saiba o que fazer pra me acalmar. Preciso de espontaneidade, de honestidade. Preciso de calmaria, de paz de espírito, mesmo quando meu coração estiver disparado simplesmente porque estás perto de mim. Preciso de alguém.

i'll be yours and you'll be mine

I hope one day I'll get to call you mine. I hope one day I'll get to feel loved and safe in your arms, that at the end of a rough day you will take a single look at me and know exactly what to do to make me feel better. You will know when to make a stupid joke and when to simply embrace me and kiss me to take away all my sorrows. You will know how my mind works, what makes me happy and what makes me sad and what makes me angry. And sometimes you'll do what pisses me off just because you like how I look when I'm mad and for the sake of it. And I will feel like killing you knowing at the same time that I wouldn't be able to go through a day without your presence. I hope one day we will get to a Friday night and ditch going out to stay home watching a stupid movie and ignoring that stupid diet I decided to get myself into. You will love me in a stunning red dress with my hair done and you will love me in pajamas with my hair in a ponytail. 

And it's not only about me. I hope one day I will know how you feel and what goes through your mind just by looking into your eyes. I will have you lay down with your head on my lap and play with your hair cause I know how much you love that and how it calms you. I hope one day I will make you embarrassed in front of your friends by telling them just how much of a softy you are. And you will blush and squeeze my thigh under the table and you will feel like killing me knowing at the same time that you wouldn't be able to go through a day without my presence. We will fight about the silliest things and end up laughing at ourselves. You will make me watch your favourite team's match even though you know I hate it with all my might. And I will watch it because I love you. I love you in a suit and I love you in your old t-shirt and shorts.

I hope one day you will call me yours.

love, amour, l'amore...

I believe in love at first sight. I believe in love at first smile. I believe in love at first touch. I believe in love at first kiss. I believe in love in all its forms, in every single way it can exist, as long as it makes your heart beat faster, as long as it gets your palms sweating and your mind blank just from being next to that person. I believe in it as long as it makes you happy, as long as it puts a smile on your face in the most random of times, just because that person crossed your mind or someone mentioned their name. I believe in it as long as it's healthy and beautiful and as long as it makes you feel invincible. Cause when it hurts, when it stings, well, that's not love. Love is supposed to be the cure for every wound, the medicine for every pain. Good and pure and peaceful at heart. Don't trust anything that doesn't make you feel like that.